To be continued...

On Friday, April 30, a group of campus ministers, college students, and ministry and church leaders joined together for a day of teaching about prayer, praying and preparing for an upcoming season of prayer. The season of prayer is twofold: we are calling the United Methodist Church to pray for college campuses and we are calling college students to enter into a life of prayer. The prayer faculty for the day represented people who have demonstrated a life of prayer. Vance Ross of the General Board of Discipleship, Margaret Therkelson of Lexington, KY, Tom Albin of the Upper Room, and Dana Hernandez and David Blackwell from Campus America shared various perspectives on prayer. Their sessions were recorded and will be available for free at a later date. The day represented partnerships by The Foundation for Evangelism, The Upper Room, The General Board of Higher Education and Ministry, and UM Communications.

One of the themes that arose from the day of teaching and prayer was that God is stirring in the hearts of the Church for the people of our college campuses. It is our intention to remind the people of God to be intentionally prayerful on behalf of college students. The intentional season of prayer that we are calling for will last first for 40 days—August 23-October 1—but really is to usher us into a life of prayer. We’re asking campus ministers to demonstrate a life of prayer on their own, but also to prepare their students for the Holy Spirit to teach them to pray on their own. The life of prayer is not one for the faint of heart. Rather it is one that requires sacrifice—of time, of personal agendas, of self-interest. But it is a life that we are called to as Christians, and as Methodists, as we seek to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.

There is more to come, but if you're a person who prays, would you add this prayer effort to your intercession? Would you pray for our campuses, for our campus ministry leaders, for college students whom you know? Pray for God's Spirit to capture this generation of students to live lives for God's glory, reaching out in ministry to all the world. And pray that the Church might come alongside the millions of young leaders who are heading to the college campus this fall to be a witness of Christ's transformative power. To God be the Glory!

To be continued...

Adrenaline Junkie

Hi, I’m Ashlee, and I’m an adrenaline addict. Not the adventure-seeking-bungee-jumping kind of addict, but the let’s-see-if-I-can-squeeze-in-one-more-thing kind of addict. I came to this realization about myself a little over a month ago when I felt my pulse quicken as I turned toward my bank, despite the fact that I had an appointment in 5 minutes and I was 3 minutes away. I wondered if I could get my errand done and still make it on time. I did, for the record.

That pulse-quickening, highly-efficient, no-margin-of-error kind of living is the lifestyle that I renounced last year, but this experience that day at the end of April brought home to me the fact that my high need for efficiency is pretty ingrained. Usually one would say that efficiency is great. However, I’ve recognized that for me, efficiency is actually reliance on myself, rather than on God. It’s also pride and hubris, as I act as if the normal boundaries for healthy people somehow don’t apply to me.

So I must confess my sins of self-dependence and pride and admit that even though I’m not hurting another person in my adrenaline-addictive ways, I’m also not living the sort of life when I can truly understand what the Psalmist means when he says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

In order to break my addictions, I’ve done three things, and I have to say, I’m feeling more and more freed from this nasty habit.

1. I’m leaving five minutes earlier to get where I need to get. I have realized that I love the rush of wondering if I’m going to get somewhere on time. I don’t like to waste one minute of being “early,” preferring to be “right on time.” But usually that means I’m about 2 minutes late since I saw someone on the way across campus or got held up by a stoplight. I don’t like being disrespectful to people and being late is one of the common discourtesies, so I’m trying, I really am, to be a few minutes early. And I’m learning to enjoy sitting for a few minutes if I am early. Huh, whowouldathought?!
2. Secondly, I’m growing a tomato plant. I’m only taking partial credit for thinking this up as a way of breaking out of my adrenaline addiction, as part of it actually goes to one of my students. I have a student who apparently has a burgeoning green thumb. He managed to convince a staff person here on campus to let him take over a lapsed garden and he tells me that he is growing quite a few veggies. He gave me a tomato plant in a planter so that I could make some fresh salsa later this summer and he continues to ask me how the plant is doing. I can’t tell him that I’ve let it die, so I water it. And I check on the little developing tomatoes and I do my best to will this little plant into abundance. I really have no ability to make this plant grow and that’s where I’ve seen that the plant is a long term investment of my time. Since my adrenaline-addictive habits like to see immediate success, this plant is exactly what I need to remind me of a sustained, steady, slow, progress that isn’t even guaranteed. My travels preventing me from watering it, the birds, or even a bad storm could completely demolish the potential of my summer salsa plans. But I water it anyway.
3. Finally, my third (and most important) intervention to breaking the adrenaline habit is to linger longer in my morning (and afternoon, and evening) prayers. Instead of hurrying to get to work, I stay just a few more precious moments longer in studying scripture or praying. From the worldly perspective, I’m wasting time (and lots of it!), but from the spiritual perspective, I’m doing the most important work of the day. My head is clearer, my heart is more emboldened, and I’m far less inclined to be anxious about the things that I can’t control.

So, I suppose that I’m a recovering adrenaline addict, or on the road to it at least. I might just have to start investigating bungee jumping after all…

Praying for Campus Ministry

If you've read my blog for very long, you've noticed that I have blogged about a series of prayer efforts over the last several years, both personal prayer and group efforts. I would say that prayer has been an area of growth for me in my personal life. I've often felt a sense of guilt over times when my prayer life has waned. And yet, other times, I've known the fuel for life and ministry that an active prayer life provides. And so, as I've worked out some of my own thoughts and experiences in prayer, I've shared a bit about it on my blog.

I wrote last fall about a prayer effort that my colleague in the world of Campus Ministry, Creighton Alexander, and I were leading. It was 40 days of prayer to coincide with the start of school for college campuses around the country. We had some good encouragement in the prayer effort last fall and felt a sense of calling to once again, invite others to join us in prayer for the fall of 2010. This time, we've partnered with The Upper Room in the effort leading up to the 40 Days of Prayer and they are hosting a group of people to spend a day in prayer in anticipation of initiating a prayer effort for August 23-October 1, 2010. We will be meeting in Nashville at the United Methodist Communications Building, from 9:30 a.m.-7 p.m., being led in prayer by several teachers of prayer. Our "prayer faculty" are:

• Vance Ross - GBOD


• Tom Albin - The Upper Room


• Margaret Therkelsen - Lexington, KY


• David Blackwell - Campus America


• Dana Hernandez - Campus America

We know that there are some who would like to join us in the prayer conference that day, but who will be unable to do so physically. So, we'll have a live webstreaming of the conference in which anyone who is interested can participate. The link will be available here. You can also find information about our Prayer Gathering in Nashville at that link, too.

Twelve years ago, I read Bill Hybels book Too Busy Not to Pray. One of the things that has stuck with me was based off his general premise--the "busier" one gets being involved in ministry, the more one must rely on the intentional guidance of the Holy Spirit in prayer. You could say that I've been doing a lot of relying on the Holy Spirit lately. Each day, I eagerly anticipate the work that God is doing (and will continue to do) as we faithfully work out our calling in ministry through prayer. Please, seriously consider joining our little group of pray-ers next week. I really believe that God's Spirit has been weaving together a beautiful message for us through the people who will be teaching us about prayer.

If you are interested in prayer, ministry with college students, and are available to join us in the event next week, we still have a few spots left. Please RSVP to Ashlee.Alley@sckans.edu.

Grief in the Garden

This week heading up to Easter is one of mixed emotions. Nearly 6 weeks ago, we started this Lenten March toward Easter remembering that from ashes we come and to ashes we will return. We’re faced with our own mortality—and with the mortality of Jesus. It is Jesus’ mortality that I feel so keenly during this Holy Week. I know that the celebration of his divinity and his triumph over death is coming on Sunday, but each day that we move closer toward Friday—the day that we call Good Friday, despite the tragedy that befalls the Savior that I love—I feel a stronger sense of sadness. In these days, I remember most vividly the humanity of Jesus. There is a time in the last week of Jesus’ life that often captures my attention. It is told in the synoptic gospels—Jesus’ prayer the night before he is arrested. In a request that gives us a glimpse into the vulnerability of Jesus, he asks the disciples to stay up with him while he prays. Read these words from Mark 14.

At first glance, this glimpse of Jesus’ life is not the picture that we would imagine for the Savior of the World, is it? It’s a desperate man—asking his friends to wait up with him. It’s a man who reverts even to child’s language, calling his Father the equivalent of Daddy—Abba. It’s a glimpse of a man who is asking for release from the job ahead of him and shows his frustration with his friends. But…when we look at what happens to him in the next few hours, we see that this glimpse of Jesus underscores the obedience that he shows by willingly giving his life for all of humanity.

But I can’t get over the vulnerability that I see in Jesus! He is so bothered by what is happening that he asks—no, he begs—his friends to watch and pray with him. I’ve had friends in desperate situations before—as I’m sure that you have, too. If a friend of mine explicitly asks me to do something for them—I do it, even if it is inconvenient. Even if it requires a sacrifice on my part. So, we can imagine, then, that Peter, James, and John—Jesus’ three closest friends—stayed up all night and prayed with Jesus in his darkest hour, right?

Sadly, no. Despite the request to watch and pray (3 times, by the way), they fall asleep.

Peter, James, and John—these three privileged disciples who have witnessed so much and thus, are entrusted with so much, they fail to meet this fairly simple and straightforward request by their friend and Messiah. Jesus picks one of the disciples from the three, Peter, and calls his name: Simon. He doesn’t call him by the name that he had given him: Peter. No…Peter means “Rock.” This is Simon—the pre-Jesus version of himself. The one who reminds us of a faltering faith and gives us the foreboding feeling that even one of Jesus’ best friends could deny him. This—Simon! He is the one, with the others, too, of course, who slept when Jesus specifically said pray.

This, Simon, who did not resist temptation.

Perhaps Jesus even has another garden, Eden, on his mind as he warns the disciples to resist temptation. For it is in the story of the Garden of Eden that we see sin coming into the world and it is in this Garden, Gethsemene, that we find Jesus preparing to defeat sin.

And it’s this same Simon, though we know him forevermore as Peter, who writes in 1 Peter 4:7, 7 “be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.” He may have lost the battle with temptation in that precarious time with Jesus in the Garden, but he did not lose the war. He got it! He recognized that it was possible to stand up against temptation—and pray!

The very same guy who yielded to temptation that fateful night in the garden, evidenced a transformed life in the book of the Bible that bears his name.
But Peter is not our hero. It was Jesus whose life Peter speaks of in 1 Peter 4 saying that because Jesus suffered in the body—starting that overwhelming night in the Garden—he lived his earthly life for the will of God.

This is huge! Even Jesus—who is God—suffered. Even Jesus learned to be obedient and do the will of God. And now—for Peter and for you and me—it is Jesus who gives him inspiration to actually follow through on his intentions. Whereas that sad night in the Garden, his spirit was willing but his flesh was weak, we now see a new understanding in Peter, the Rock. He tells them to be self-controlled, so that they can pray.

So why should we be concerned about prayer?

I’ve been contemplating prayer for nearly a year now—I’ve read about prayer, I’ve prayed, I’ve talked to others about their own prayer lives, and I’ve prayed a little more. I can’t help but think that Jesus seemed to think that something significant happened in prayer, or else he wouldn’t have insisted that his disciples stay up all night and pray with him. I can only deduce that for Jesus, prayer was a way to offer oneself to God’s purposes. It was a way to reorder one’s own priorities, even as Jesus prayed, “Not my will, but your will be done.” Prayer became, then, a time not when Jesus was at his weakest, but rather, he was at his strongest. That’s why he urged his disciples to watch and pray, and thus stand up to temptation. It was through an honest encounter with God through prayer that they would see their own vulnerability and in some way take on the countenance of Christ.

Jesus knew this, and he wanted his disciples to know this. Thankfully, Peter came to understand it and teach us, as well. The conviction with which Jesus faced the cross was borne out of strength in prayer, not out of his weakness.

The work of Christ on the cross started in the Garden—the sin of humanity was defeated once and for all, and temptation no longer holds us hostage. And so, we can, like Peter—because of Christ—be self-controlled and pray. Our earthly life can be lived by doing the will of God. Our victory comes through Christ. What starts as grief in the Garden turns to grace. While we may start as a Simon, we can end as a Peter—the rock! The grief only serves to make the joy of Resurrection morning all the more thrilling. But while we’re still in the Garden—we are to watch and pray. Watch and pray. Watch and pray.

A Life of Prayer

A friend of mine, Guy Chmieleski, the university pastor at Belmont University, asked me if I would "guest post" on his blog. It was a good excuse to get me to write something that I had been thinking about and I thought I should link it up here. I'm grateful that Guy asked me to write something and glad to link up with him in ministry again (we were colleagues at Asbury College, now Asbury University).

Ironically, I read a post this morning by Scot McKnight that I thought went closely with the theme in my post.

Passionate in Prayer

This semester has been a bit of an experiment of sorts for some students. Two students, after having a class dropped for low enrollment, asked me if they could take an independant study with me about prayer. I was excited to say yes, and knew that their lives (and our campus) would never be the same. These two women have learned about prayer, prayed, talked with people who pray, prayed some more, talked to people who want to know how to pray, and prayed some more. And they've seen God answer their prayers.

Tonight initiates a 46-hour long continuous prayer weekend for us on campus. I am glad to say that I really have not provided any leadership to this event, but have encouraged them and prayed for them, with a bit of guidance every now and then. It's exciting to me to watch God working through these student, Jessica and Molly, and those that they've recruited to join us in prayer. This weekend also kicks off the use of a newly spruced up (small) prayer chapel in the library that they've refurbished.

That would be exciting enough, but I have to add a personal note. One of the many things that Molly and Jessica have learned through their semester in prayer is that there have been others before them that have prayed fervently for our campus as well. I know of a group of students in the spring of 1998 who prayed in that very chapel for God to be present on our campus in a new way. They prayed and they sang, and they stayed up way too late talking about how God was at work on their campus. I know that there was a group in 1998 because I was one of that number. The note above is a note given to me by a friend who also prayed.

The prayers of my friends and I aren't the only prayers prayed for our campus either...the little library chapel contained a book started in 2000 that hold prayers of many other Moundbuilders who lifted up prayers for our campus. Obviously there were many others who have been a part of praying for our campus since it was begun in 1886--we have a wonderful legacy of leaders in the church and in the world who have graduated from our campus on a hill--and we have a desire to once again shine brightly for Christ. Our prayers this weekend, and lives transformed by the God to whom we pray, will be evidence of that light.

If you read my post this weekend...will you pray for us?

Nothing Better

Ministry is hard work. This is no surprise. In fact, I remember learning in seminary (and frankly, observing every pastor that I've ever had) that it is important to have good boundaries because ministry will take up every spare moment and even your-not-spare-moments with something crucial. There are meetings, worship services, books, blogs, phone calls, emails, etc., that will necessitate attention and time. And then there are people. People will always need you. Sometimes these feeling of being needed, being able to fix someone's situation, being the superstar, can start to become the driving force instead of living out the Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And then comes burnout, poor boundaries, and inflated egos. So yes, ministry, true ministry...the kind where the Gospel is lived out and you become Jesus' hands and feet as you are inhabited by the Holy Spirit, is hard work. The hardest part of the work has actually already been done by Christ--who broke the chains of sin, but we as God's ministers (both lay and clergy) must do the hard work of laying down our lives, picking up our crosses and following Christ. We must allow God's Spirit to transform our lives, letting our earthly desires pass away so that we might be transformed by God's grace.

When the work of ministry seems hard, it is so important to remember the fruits of the ministry. For me, that means I take a look at the lives of people that God has transformed that I have been blessed to know. I met Nicole her junior year of college, when I was brand new at Southwestern College. I was immediately drawn to her, as she has a great sense of humor and high level of responsibility. She also seemed that she had been pretty disappointed in her life and was reluctant to trust people easily, even though she had that look in her eye that said she wanted to be able to trust them. She gradually began to open up to me and I told her that while I might disappoint her at some point, I was willing to allow God to use me in her life, if that was okay with her. Over the two years of her time in college, she really opened up to me and began to trust me. One of the things that she talked to me about was her love for all things African. I was so excited, then, when she shared with me about the opportunity that she had to go on a mission trip to Kenya a year after she graduated from college. She had an incredible experience on her first trip and soon after she returned began planning a second trip to Tanzania and Kenya for this past summer. Through a crazy series of events that Nicole tells about, she is now working with an organization of the General Board of Discipleship called Pray With Africa.

Watching Nicole grow in God's grace and follow God's will into her current ministry reminds me that there is truly nothing better in ministry than seeing people that you have invested in mature in faith. The meetings, the programs, the worship services, the phone calls and emails, they certainly are the preparing, tilling, planting, watering, weeding, and tending parts of growing fruit. But when the fruit peeks through and then begins planting her own seeds, there is nothing better.

A Prayer for Southwestern

Gracious God,

As we enter another school year, we lift these prayers to you:

Bless our students, God, as they study and learn in their classes, but also bless them as they discover more about who they are. May they be people who seek excellence and ways to serve others around them. Give them wisdom in their decision-making and peace in their challenges. And may they do all of this for your glory.

Bless our faculty, staff and administrators, God, as we invest our lives in our students. May we be diligent, wise and compassionate as we interact with students and continue to grow as a learner ourselves.

May this place, Southwestern College, be a place that sends forth people who understand the challenges of the world and seeks to meet those challenge. And may we do that with wisdom and grace.

Lord, bless us, guide us, protect us, and use us to accomplish your purposes here on earth. We humbly ask this in your name, Amen.

School's Starting--Let Us Pray

When I was in high school, I took up running. It was mostly in rebellion to the volleyball coach, as I quit the team my senior year and said that I was going to run cross country, but in this act with less than noble intentions, I learned a valuable lesson. I learned what it means to have a daily commitment to a formative practice in my life. While running is of some value, spiritual training has value for this age and the age to come.

Prayer is one of those formative practices. But it is often something that we take for granted as a Christian practice. It is just something that we “do.” We learn prayers when we’re young, we stand in a circle holding hands and offer our thanks or share a request, and we add prayers to the prayer chain. But I, for one, have felt a sense of inadequacy in my prayers from time to time. When I was in seminary, I was a part of a prayer group that started each week with the questions, “Lord, teach us to pray.” Since that time 7 years ago, I have learned a few things about prayer. I have learned many things about prayer since that time, but want to briefly identify three.

1. I have learned to appreciate the prayers of others.


2. I have found consolation in the rhythm of prayer at different times throughout the day.


3. I have enjoyed a sense of praying (even if not physically) with others the same prayer.

I am excited to now be a part of a prayer initiative that unites all three of these particular lessons.

I’ve written about this project before, but as we approach the launch of 40 Days of Prayer for Campus Ministry, I want to once again invite people to participate in sustaining the collegiate ministries in the United Methodist Church in prayer during the first 6 weeks of the fall semester. The prayers are written by pastors, campus ministers, administrators, professors, general board officials, and even a couple of bishops. They are honest and passionate pleas to God on behalf of the 17 million students who will head to college in just a couple of weeks. Since I’m helping to compile the prayers, I’ve had a sneak peek at them and am thrilled at the way that they show a glimpse into God’s heart for college students (and the church, too, by the way).

The prayers are going to be posted daily, starting August 17, at www.CollegeUnion.org/prayer and will last until September 25. After August 10, we’ll have the entire prayer book available for download at the same website and we would like to encourage people to share the prayers with their congregation, board of directors, district superintendent, students, or local pastors. Those lessons that I learned in running—daily, ongoing, sacrificing actions—are applicable to prayer. I do hope that you’ll join me in prayer.

Would You Join Us in Prayer?

I am often asked, “What do you do in campus ministry in the summer time.” I understand the enigma that campus ministry may be to some, but I usually answer, “Plenty! I have time to plan, to read, to recover (!), and to prepare for a new year.” This summer, I’ve also been answering that I have time to pray…well, planning to pray may be more accurate. As far as I’m concerned, prayer isn’t really an option anytime during the year, but this summer I’ve been setting about an intentional way of praying for the coming school year.

Last spring, I participated in a 40 Days of Prayer effort that was headed up by Ben Simpson and some young clergy in the UMC. It was a blessing to me as I prayed the prayers written by others who want to see more vividly the work of God in the United Methodist Church. I got to write a prayer and join with a network of others who prayed for the UMC during the “season” of Annual Conferences.

In the context of the 40 Days of Prayer, I also had a conversation with a campus ministry friend of mine, Creighton Alexander, about a website for which we are co-editors. He was talking about his passion for campus ministry within the United Methodist Church and how much potential he sees within campus ministry in general. As we spoke, I tossed out the stories of some of the people I’ve met through the 40 Days of Prayer Initiative and other efforts of the UMC Young Clergy. At about the same time, we had the idea to issue a Call to Prayer for the UMC that would start in August, at about the time that school starts, and lead us through the first month of classes. The ideas emerged quickly and within a few short minutes, we decided to do several things:

1. Pray as we moved toward soliciting others for prayer.
2. Write a letter to be posted on the website of College Union.
3. Create a Facebook group of people who were called to ministry in the United Methodist Church through campus ministry.
4. Create a space on College Union to host prayers for the Prayer Movement to begin August 17 and last until September 25.
5. Invite some people that we knew to write prayers to be included in a prayer guide.

The Facebook group, “United Methodist Campus Ministry—Raising Up Christian Leaders,” exploded to over 200 members in the first 48 hours and has now settled in at about 500 in the first 3 weeks. We have now invited the members of that group, along with some other ministry leaders, to write 40 prayers to be included in the prayer guide. We have also heard the “call” stories of some of the group members and seen pictures of campus ministry across the country. We are more and more convinced and inspired to continue on in providing a challenge to the UMC to pray for our students, our colleges, our campus ministers, and our churches as they begin a new school year. We are also convinced that the there are future church and world leaders in campus ministries of UMC-related colleges, Wesley Foundations, and local churches right now who need to be lifted in prayer.

And so…I’ve been praying, as I usually do, but I’ve also been working toward prayer, especially in enlisting others to this important responsibility and call. If you would like to write a prayer to be included in the prayer guide that we’re building, drop me an email, ashlee.alley@sckans.edu. If you were called to ministry, as a lay person or as clergy, through your campus ministry, join our Facebook group. If you are interested in joining in the prayer effort, visit the website. And above all else, would you join us in prayer?

A Call to Prayer

I have always been a strong believer that prayer "works." I remember as a child, praying nightly the same memorized prayer that my sister and I "developed," including a prayer for all of our family and friends by name and also a prayer for the "whole wide world except for the bad people." Well, my prayer may not have been theologically coherent, but the intention was pure--by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, to present my requests before God. I remember that understanding growing as I learned different ways to pray, through journaling, through reading Scripture, in groups and alone. I also grew deeper in my faith as I read Richard Foster's book Prayer and Bill Hybel's book Too Busy Not to Pray. I read of believers across time who have prayed and then the impossible became possible, such as Peter's miraculous release from prison in Acts 12, even when the church who prayed for him so fervently didn't believe it when he was released! Prayer is a means of connection to God, but also has become a lifeline to me, as through prayer I have experienced God's love, the love of community, and even sometimes the challenge of being corrected. That's why this is so important.

Starting on May 18, a prayer effort for 40 days will be beginning. It is not an "official" action by any group, but rather a response by some folks to an Open Letter that was posted by Ben Simpson. The result of the Open Letter is a prayer campaign that has involved clergy, young and not-so-young alike, who are interested in lifting the UMC up in prayer in an intentional way. The hopes for the prayer effort include a sense of witness of the work of Christ in our lives individually and also in the UMC. Would you be willing to pray with us?

You can find the prayers here. They are being hosted on the UMC Young Clergy website that has just been officially launched! I do hope that you'll join me in prayer.

A Minister's Prayer

The Concluding Prayer of the Church that I read during the Midday Office today is one that I'm claiming. Here it is:

O Lord my God, to you and your service I devote myself, body, soul, and spirit. Fill my memory with the record of your mighty works; enlighten my understanding with the light of your Holy Spirit; and make all the desires of my heart and will center in what you would have me do. Make me an instrument of your salvation for the people entrusted to my care, and let me by my life and speaking set forth your true and living Word. Be always with me in carrying out the duties of my vocation; in praises heighten my love and gratitude; in speaking of You give me readiness of thought and expression; and grant that, by the clearness and brightness of your holy Word, all the world may be drawn to your blessed kingdom. All this I ask for the sake of your Son my Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

Vespers Prayer

As if on cue, the concluding prayer for the Vespers reading for today reads like this:

Drop thy still dews of quietness
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of thy peace.
John G. Whittier

Amen, and Amen

Changing Gears

It seems that this is the time of year when I feel a little torn between the quiet "dog days" of summer and the busy "Fall Frenzy" of a new year. I've had quite a bit going on this summer with some projects that I've been working on and my sister getting married, but I've been able to rest and relax a bit, too. I haven't had much contact time with students, so obviously I'm excited to reconnect with current students and meet the new ones that will be heading our way. Looking backward to what is behind and looking forward to what is ahead is not always comfortable. It's hard to truly be present in the moment when our heads and hearts are rooted elsewhere. My transition, thankfully, is not a major one. I'm not moving, or getting a new job, or getting married, like many others that I know. But the rhythms of my current day-to-day life are changing for the next phase of the year.

Rhythms are important. They remind us that our current circumstances are temporary...just wait until x happens and then y will happen. They also help us to order the chaos of our life...we can put a little order to the pandemonium when we get into a rhythm. And rhythms shape and form us...there is a level of submission required in order to truly lapse into a rhythm.

One rhythm that I've been thinking about this summer which carries me into the fall is that of prayer. As noted before, I've been praying the "Divine Hours" this summer, praying the Morning, Midday, Vespers, and Night Offices. The Morning one felt pretty natural, and even the Night one, too. But the Midday and the Vespers? Those two cramped my style a bit. I decided to pray the Midday Office upon returning from lunch. Occasionally I forgot and already got started checking my email or returning to the project I had left prior to my lunch break. When I did, it took every ounce of discipline that I had to stop what I was doing, break the rhythm of work, to enter a different rhythm, the rhythm of prayer. The Vespers Office was similar. I found myself trying to pray it before I left my office to head for home, but quickly found that undesirable. Instead, I opted to pray the Vespers prayer after dinner. Again, the difficult thing is not the actual praying, but subverting my agenda for the rhythm of prayer.

After a summer of praying in this manner, I have several reflections. First of all, nothing "magical" happened during these times of prayer. Sometimes (dare I say it?), I felt like I was robotically reading words, albeit it holy words. Sometimes, my mind or heart engaged more and I was temporarily blessed. But rarely did the prayer do anything to me. Or so I thought.

Sure, I'll grant that praying this way did not lead me to some of the more "emotional" encounters with God that I've experienced in other manners of prayer, but praying the Hours led me to a whole different kind of experience in prayer than I've known before, and it is all tied up to the concept of the rhythms. We're commended in Scripture to pray without ceasing and (as the Psalms often assigned in my prayerbook say) pray in the morning, at noonday and at night. I've often said that I felt like I've done that by continually throwing up prayers (pun intended) all throughout the day. Now, don't get me wrong...I think that God is pleased when we ask for help in all things, but I also think that often my "throw up prayers" are more about my lack of faith or patience or wisdom that can only be changed through the slow, constant, rhythmic formation of sustained reorientation (if there is such a concept). Praying the Hours allows someone else to set the agenda. Sure, I can still lift my heart to the Lord, but I'm also being reminded of the need every morning to ask God to "preserve me with [God's] mighty power, that I may not fall into sin, nor be overcome with adversity; and in all I do, direct me to the fulfilling of your purposes; through Jesus Christ my Lord" (emphasis mine). My agenda takes a back seat, when I pray at the end of the day, "Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit." My own individualism who wants to keep things on track is derailed, to the agenda of the One Who Is REALLY In Charge.

So has my praying four times a day done anything? You bet it has. It has made me more willing to listen, not just to God, but to others. It has given me perspective by joining in the prayers of the saints across time. And it has created a rhythm in me that is able to join more closely to the rhythm of God. So, crazy, busy fall...here I come. Despite the chaos and commotion that is campus life in the fall, I enter with a sense of peace and expectation that through it all, God is sustaining me. Thanks be to God!

Our Father

One of my spiritual practices this summer has been to pray through the "Divine Hours," as Phyllis Tickle calls them in her manual of the same name. It's "praying the hours," founded on readings from the Book of Common Prayer. Last fall I started praying the Morning Office, usually with a couple of students before their 9:00 class. However, I haven't really prayed through all the offices until this summer. This morning, while praying the Morning Office, as I've done most mornings for the last year, I prayed the Lord's Prayer.


"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread..."

You know it, whether you pray trespasses or debts, you know it. Anyway, as I was praying these first three lines, I was struck by something that, ashamedly, I've just noticed. I noticed that I had just prayed in the plural..."Our Father...Give us...our daily bread." Praying the Lord's prayer has not been one of my common practices, except for in church when I pray it along with the rest of the congregation, until I started praying the hours. And throughout most of the year, I prayed it with students. This summer, I've been praying the Lord's prayer by myself, but today the "corporate-ness" of it really struck me.

One of the powerful things to me about using Divine Hours as a guidebook for prayer has been the idea that while I'm praying this prayer now in my time zone, an hour from now, someone in Mountain Time will be praying it. And then Pacific, etc. The idea of continual prayer, around the world becomes a reality. I think this morning I sensed a similar reality, except on a bigger scale with the Lord's prayer. While I was praying, I realized that while I may be praying it alone in my living room or in my office, "the saints," both living and dead have prayed this prayer innumerable times. Hebrews 11 and the first verse of Hebrews 12 comes to mind, "Here we are, surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses." The faithful prayers of so many, initiated by Jesus' important prayer, help us hold that prayer in proper context. We can pray to God, requesting for God's kingdom to be realized here on earth and that God's purposes would be accomplished. We can be grateful for the provision that God gives us through physical things and receive the forgiveness of God, as well. We also can ask for God's protection through all of our trials and temptations. We. Sure, I individually could ask for these these things, but this is a prayer for all of humanity. It reminds us that we haven't "arrived" yet. And, due to it's universality, it is a prayer that helps us experience community, even if we're praying it alone in our living room. Thanks be to God!

Morning Prayer

Last fall I started a morning prayer time with a small group of students using Phyllis Tickle's Divine Hours as our guidebook. This morning the "Prayer Appointed for the Week" particularly spoke to me:

Almighty and merciful God, in your goodness keep me, I pray, from all things that may hurt me, that I, being ready both in mind and body, may accomplish with a free heart those things which belong to your purpose; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one Good, now and for ever. Amen.

Would you join me in prayer?

His name was Ed. He was wearing an old Tommy Hilfiger jersey shirt over a plaid flannel shirt and a Budweiser Select ball cap. His face showed that at its last shave, he had worn a goatee. But his last shave had to have been over a week ago. His eyes were brown and welled up with tears from time to time. He was missing one bottom tooth. And he was homeless. Not only was he homeless, but he was a heroin addict. I met him last Friday at a “Soup Kitchen” in St. Louis. Discipleship had taken its annual mission trip there for this year and we had worked in a variety of places: a children’s home (for a rough group of kids), two different schools (for an even rougher group of kids), and the soup kitchen. There were 21 of us in total. A group of students had worked all year planning the trip, another group fundraising for it, and all of us praying for it. And now we were in the midst of the trip. We had just completed a “Homeless Walk,” where we had spent two hours trying to understand the homeless situation in downtown St. Louis. We walked (in the rain, as it had been raining the whole week we were there) for four miles from place to place, a church where they were allowed to pray, “Hobo Park” where they could take a nap, a library where they could read or search the internet, a couple of shelters where they could sleep for the night, and back to the church, where they could grab their next meal. We were pretty miserable from the two hours that we spent in the cold and rain, and then had the opportunity to eat with some of the men, women and children with whom we now felt solidarity. I followed two of my students to a table near the back of the room where they sat down beside a man who nodded and said hi when we sat down.

Ed confessed to us his heroin addiction early in our conversation and then told us that he would be entering a treatment program for his addiction that afternoon. He told us that he had a ride coming to pick him up after lunch was over. As we talked, he shared with us that he had not always been a drug addict. He had formerly been a window washer for high rise buildings and had been able to work anywhere he wanted. At one point, he even told use that he “was not like the rest of these homeless guys.” He said that he had only been homeless for a week and that he had now hit rock bottom. He spoke with clarity, not appearing to be high at the moment. He expressed his regret, sadness, and anger at his addiction. And thankfully, he had hope. He had hope that he would break out of his darkness, but not a naïve, unfounded hope.

“Five years ago, I would have been the one here helping out with this program, telling these guys that they can break out of addiction,” he said. You see, he had been “clean” several different times, once for more than two years. But, slowly, temptation had arisen for him, one time in the form of a client who offered him drugs, sending him into the downward spiral of addiction, once again. This time, he said that it had partially been because of his girlfriend, Stephanie. They were both addicts who had been clean when they met, but “were not good for each other,” as he said. She had entered the hospital that morning for her attempt at rehabilitation. But he painfully told me that they had broken up that morning when she went to rehab. He wants to be clean and he knows that he can’t be clean and stay connected to her. Now, I was hopeful. He might have a chance, I internally reasoned. I asked him why he had been able to stop doing drugs before and he said, “God. I know that God is the only thing stronger than heroin. I just hope that he can break the addiction in me this time, too, and for good.” At one point, he even said, “You don’t know how hard it is for me to stay sitting here. Everything in me wants to just get up right now and go outside and find drugs.” Thankfully, not quite everything. I believe that there is a glimmer of God’s grace that is holding on to him in the midst of his darkness.

I have to say, I don’t understand the downward spiral of addiction. I hear it has dark claws that hold on to the heart and mind of those that submit. I think of Frodo in Lord of the Rings and the weakness that results for him when he “uses” the ring to “hide.” The final scenes of the last movie of the trilogy illustrate the bitter conflict of addiction, as best I can ascertain. The darkness that enfolds a person when they are in sin, that is something that we can all identify with, I suppose. The apostle Paul said it this way: “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this is what I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19). He goes on to say, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24). Truly, only the power of God can set any of us free from our inclination to sin. And thankfully Ed knows that, too. Unfortunately, admitting you have a problem is only the first step.

Ed will have many steps to take in getting free from his addiction. And unfortunately he will have to take the hardest of those steps by himself. He will need every possible grace of God in order to make it. I asked him how long his rehab would be. He said 12 weeks to 6 months, but hoped that it would be 6 months long. He really wants to make it this time and the longer he would have, the better his chance would be. As he spoke, I forcefully felt the urge to pray for him, not just that day, but until his treatment was over. I tried to shove it away…intercession is hard work! But, the urge would not leave me. I offered it to him. “Ed, would it be okay with you for me to pray with you for the next 6 months, while you’re in rehab?” Those brown eyes, now rimmed in red, welled up with tears as he said, “Oh please! And would you pray for Stephanie, too?” He went on to say that he knew that he needed every support that he could possibly get in order to break free from his addiction.

His ride came right on time to pick him up. He gathered his things and said over his shoulder, “Thanks for your prayers.” His next 6 months will be the hardest of his life. He will have to let his body get rid of the drugs. He will have to resist the urges to “stop” the pain by getting more drugs. And he will have to learn how to forgive himself and others who have contributed to his addiction. I do believe that he’s learned the lesson of sacrifice in obedience. He yielded his relationship with his girlfriend in an attempt to make it this time. But, even still, I don’t know if he’ll make it. I want to believe that he will. I want Ed to draw strength knowing that someone is praying for him in Kansas. I want him to turn his life around and begin a ministry of reaching out to drug addicts to show them the way of life in Christ. I want all that to happen, but I will never know, even if it does happen. The task of the Christian is to be faithful, even when one doesn’t see results. Even so, I pray that this time, Ed can make it. May it be so, Lord, may it be so.

Lord, be with Ed and Stephanie. Surround them with your love and grace. Bring people into their lives that have compassion and care for them. Remove the darkness that addiction brings to them. Shine in your healing light. Let them know that they are worth loving, even in their darkest moments.