Finding a Balance

It’s a precarious path we walk in helping students identify the areas that can help them to grow spiritually. There are two extremes: 1.) They are so eager to please those in authority that they set many goals for every area of their life. 2.) They fear being legalistic and so don’t set any goals, but hope for the best. The former is characterized by the student who decides that they are going to read through the Bible in a year, pray for 30 minutes daily, and be involved in 2 small groups each semester. The latter is characterized by the student who loves philosophical discussion and even hangs around for hours talking after a weekly worship time, but can’t ever make it a priority to regularly commit to involvement in a ministry. Neither thing I’ve described is bad, actually, both have very important elements. However, they represent the tension that students sometimes feel as they are learning how to follow Christ out of love, not obligation, yet fully sacrificing their agenda to follow him.

I think that there is a nice middle ground that is possible for students to set goals and make commitments, but also freely offer themselves up in service without trying to meet some “objective.” The challenge for students in this is to see that as they set goals with the intent to grow, they are being conformed to the image of Christ. There is grace for them as they strive toward the transformation of being who Christ has called them to be—they will fail from time to time, but that does not mean that they do not allow Christ to set the standard high!
For some time in working with youth and young adults, I’ve used the following exercise after speaking about ways that we can become transformed to the image of Christ. I do it about once a year to help students set goals in different areas of their lives that work toward that process:

• Social—with friends
• Self—character traits and physical health
• Spiritual—prayer life, Bible Study, small group, worship, etc.
• School—grades, classes, studying

I ask students to listen to God as they set specific goals in each of these areas that will help them to continue to develop the mind of Christ at work within them. Sometimes I’ve asked them to copy the goals and put one copy of them in a self-addressed envelope that I will then mail out to them in 3 to 6 months as a means of reminding them and holding them accountable (to a small degree) to what their desire was in following Christ. This isn’t a “magic formula” that will automatically teach students about how to submit every aspect of their life to Christ, but it can begin a journey that starts with the first step.

Training Others to Lead In the Name of Jesus

It’s a thin, small book with a non-descript cover. Just a faint green form, that you assume to be a cross, with black font on the front. The title: In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri J.M. Nouwen. The message: the three temptations of Christ can entice you as a leader, but we can resist those temptations with spiritual disciplines and learn to lead as Christ led. It’s more than just another sermon on resisting temptation. It’s more than just a model of spiritual discipline that creates a Christ-centered life. It is instruction, challenge, and encouragement that reveals the state of our human hearts and invites the reader to learn how to truly be led by Christ.

This is one of my favorite books to give as a gift and introduce to students. Often they think that it’s just a “quick read” that they can pull a nugget or two from and put in their pocket of spiritual truths. But as they read it, they find, just as I’ve found, that it challenges their core understanding of what it means to be used by God in leadership. The first chapter in and of itself challenges this post-modern generation who have been formed by church leaders who preach about “being relevant.” It challenges the reader to move “From Relevance to Prayer,” stating that, “The leaders of the future will be those who dare to claim their irrelevance in the contemporary world as a divine vocation that allows them to enter into a deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success, and to bring the light of Jesus there.” This isn’t a popular idea at all. Who wants to enter into “solidarity” with “anguish”? And who identifies this desire with leadership, anyway?

But, according to Nouwen, this is part of what it means to become a Christian leader. I’m inclined to agree with him. No, it’s not the way that we usually talk about leadership, but I believe that it’s the way that Christ would have us be leaders. Nouwen identifies that contemplative prayer is the antidote to desiring to be relevant. He says, “To live a life that is not dominated by the desire to be relevant but is instead safely anchored in the knowledge of God’s first love, we have to be mystics. A mystic is a person whose identity is deeply rooted in God’s first love.” He’s got it right: I can’t be used by God to influence others until I’m no longer looking to them to meet my emotional and spiritual needs. The other 2 chapters give similar challenges, moving us from “Popularity to Ministry” and from “Leading to Being Led.” It’s not full of advice that would receive “Amens!” from most of the leadership material out there. It’s no quick fix or list of tips and techniques. But, it does keep in front of us the cost that is associated with being a follower of Christ.

Over the last 5 years, I’ve used this book with probably 6 or 8 groups of students as I’ve trained them to be student leaders in their campus ministry. It’s usually the first thing that I do in training with them. I’m trying to set the precedent that until we have humbled ourselves before God and spent the time being formed, we cannot stand in front of others and ask them to follow. I’m learning this lesson every day in campus ministry and it is my prayer that my students, especially the leaders among them, learn it too.

Here’s another important article by Henri Nouwen that was originally printed in Leadership magazine in 1995. It is entitled, “Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry.”